We are proud to finally announce that we are no longer members of the Church of Scientology. Although we have each had immense gains from the tech and continue to support its application, we can no longer support a management that has become abusive.
Richard and I had dedicated our lives to the church and were betrayed on many levels. I was raised in Scientology, did the Comm Course at age 9 and started academy training at age 12. Richard joined staff at Seattle Fdn and stayed on for 13 years.
In spite of the many gains we got from the tech, our years of participation left us in overwhelming debt, poor case shape and treated like ethics bait. Richard has been posting under the name Joe Doakes. I’ve posted under the pseudonym ClearlyMistreated and I believe my letter to the C/S below explains the name well. After reading this you’ll see why we were ready to open our eyes when we heard about The Truth Rundown in July 2009.
To: AOLA Preps HGC C/S
Via: D of P Lou Hayes
From: Vicki Palmer, PC
Dear AOLA C/S, 7/3/06
I am just writing to let you know what I think is wrong with my case and why I won’t be coming back. After 10 long years of trying to handle my case, I still must conclude that I am Clear. Nothing else explains everything as well as this does.
Although I am not well trained in tech, I am familiar with the LRH tech on going back to just before the point of having trouble and that is where something was wrong. The point where I was doing exceedingly well and winning was when I originally thought I was Clear.
I was getting my auditing at Celebrity Centre Int and had gotten into debt about $60,000 to do my KTL, grades and NED to the point where I thought I was Clear. At this point I didn’t care about the debt. I was on top of the world. Everything had changed. I had never been so happy.
Unfortunately this only lasted for one day because the very next day they told me I wasn’t Clear. I had to borrow another $40,000 or so to audit repair and the rest of my NED because I was determined to either convince them that I was Clear or to actually go Clear.
I left CCI on the bottom of the world. I was sad and in debt way over my head.
I have been struggling for the 10 years since then. I’ve barely been able to survive financially. Mentally I’ve been in a confusion. It is something that I’ve literally thought about every day since then, at least a little bit. It has really drained me and made it difficult for me to enjoy life. What seemed like a dream come true turned into a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.
I have visited different orgs at least 6 times in the last 10 years in attempts to resolve the matter. Nothing has ever been resolved, I just leave in more confusion and debt. I come away with new “whys” but no org has yet been successful in convincing me that I’m not Clear. Some have come pretty close, but never 100% permanently.
I don’t really care if you agree with me or not. I’m not writing this to convince you. I’m just writing it to explain what I think and why I won’t be coming back anytime soon.
You can write me off as having O/Ws or being out-ethics, I know I have all the “symptoms.” But I’m not going to buy that. I know that is not my “why” and I find it annoying to have that pushed on me. It just confuses and depresses me more.
I know it’s sad, but I’ve given up on doing the Bridge for now. I have to get on with my life. I had one child but I’ve put off having any more because I wanted to get up the Bridge. Now it’s time to put that dream on hold. I’ll come back some day in about 20 years when my children are grown and I’ll have more than enough time and money to dedicate to doing the alternate route.
Until then you can just stick this letter on the top of my folder and send it to deep storage. The only thing I can do now is try and forget about it all and hope it will destimulate so I can live at least a little bit happily ever after. Please don’t try to call me any more because that only restimulates it all.
I have felt such relief since having the correct SP indicated: DM.
Here’s a message directly to you, David Miscavige: I want my folders back and I want my brother back! Until then you can consider me “Theta the Problem.”
“You’ve Got Mail”
We believe that the suppressive element in the church can be dissolved if enough people stand up and deliver the truth to the Scientology public. It is the public that empower and fund the suppression. The people with the best chance of communicating the truth are us—former and independent Scientologists.
After a year of internet research, Richard and I were certain that the existing church was corrupt to the core and couldn’t be fixed from the inside. Yet we felt the need to do something. After months of evaluating the situation and potential solutions we came up with our master plan. We wrote and mailed out our own “SP Declare” to the Seattle field! We followed up the mailing a few days later with an email to the Seattle field to drive them to our website www.ethicsorders.org. Needless to say, this lit a powder keg in Seattle!
Scientologists opened their mailboxes to see a white envelope with an obviously goldenrod paper inside. The return address had a note above it that said “Seattle E/O.” All the feedback we’ve received indicates that people feel compelled to open these letters and read them in their entirety.
Although most of the direct comm we’ve received from current church members is negative, it represents very few people. The vast silence speaks volumes.
Our website stats were “straight up and vertical” for the first week with each visitor spending an average of eight minutes viewing six pages on our website before clicking off.
The plan was calculated to use a known comm line to deliver our message. We hoped to sidestep the mental blocks Scientologists have that keep them from looking—at least long enough to get them to ask their own questions. We knew these triggers too well, having been on that side ourselves. We used the local recognition that Tony, Marie-Joe, Bert, Lynne and the rest of us had. We hoped that local Scientologists would be interested in reading about someone they recognized, just like Richard and I had listened to Marty’s testimony because we recognized him.
Besides, no Scientologist can resist reading a goldenrod! The Church is left defenseless since they refuse to distribute any actual declares, in direct violation of LRH policy. They are defenseless because there is no defense against the truth.
The church thinks they can go around declaring people and hoping they’ll disappear. What they’re really doing is creating a mystery in the minds of all those that knew them. A vacuum waiting to be filled. They can continue to disconnect, but we will continue to communicate. Communication, not disconnection, is the universal solvent.
Vicki and Richard Palmer