What follows is a series of events, observations and conclusions related to my relationship with officials and parishioners of the Church of Scientology. The events are true as I remember them; the observations and conclusions my own.
On Sunday morning, January 16, 2011, at about 11 AM, I was visited by my friend to discuss a film script we had written. The appointment for my friend and I to meet was made by us the night before.
When I opened the door, I was surprised to see that my friend was accompanied by Mr. Tommy Davis (The Church of Scientology’s Director of Public Affairs) and Mr. Michael Sutter (Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs) both dressed in their Sea Org uniforms.
The three wanted to have a conversation about a serious matter concerning my well-being. I asked them to leave, saying I was not interested in discussing anything with them at this time. But Mr. Davis and my friend insisted, and we continued to converse on my door step.
Mr. Davis explained that the matter of great importance and concern was the fact that I had been audited by a member of a squirrel group in Texas; and that this had to be addressed and handled immediately. Since I had told no one about my trip, I asked him how he came to know of it. He replied that he “just knew”. He also “knew” that I had posted the wins and extraordinarily positive experience from this auditing under a pseudonym on a blog written by a declared SP.
Had they surveilled me? Had they taken photos or video of my visit? How did they know that the pseudonym was me? Mr. Davis said he “just knew”
Again I asked the three to leave.
Mr Davis then showed me a reference that indicated I had committed a suppressive act by being audited by the SP; that I was audited without the back-up of an Org i.e.. proper C/S’ ing, Examiner, Ethics Officer, and without access to previous PC folders, was totally off policy and dangerous. Then he showed me a Declare Order on goldenrod that indicated I was a Suppressive Person. I asked Mr. Davis if he thought I was a suppressive person. He said no, but that I had strayed off the path and had to find my way back as soon as possible.
My friend likened me to Shakespeare’s Othello, who was being manipulated by Iago. (Iago’s third partying results in Othello murdering his own bride, Desdemona). The tone, in which she expressed this to me was a hostile one. She had never used it in all the years we’d known each other, and it both surprised, angered and then saddened me.
Once again I asked them to leave but they would not.
Mr. Davis then continued by saying I could be sued for the amount of money (parishioner’s money) that it would cost the Church to re-shoot the films I had made with Golden Era Studios, just as Larry Anderson and Jason Beghe had been sued. (I later learned that the threatened suits against them were never initiated)
The suit and the Declare Order would not happen, Mr Davis said, if I came to my senses and accompanied them immediately to an Org, and began an “A to E” program to get back into the good graces of the Church. I emphatically refused.
I told them that I had been researching points of view expressed on various blogs, books and videos which severely take to task the current management of the Church; that I’d spoken to Sea Org members and public who had personally experienced abuses by management personnel, and the alteration and disregard of LRH policy and technology.
I explained I had also researched the Church’s point of view by reading various articles, watching videos and raising questions in D of P’s and with an Ethics terminal; and I’d read articles and watched videos attempting to rebut the charges made by the above disaffected Scientologists; and that I had spent twenty-seven years in the Church taking numerous courses and solo auditing for ten years on OT VII.
My conclusion, I told Mr. Davis and the others, was, that after nearly two years of research and study, I believed that the Church is not functioning as LRH would have it; and that my questions had not adequately been answered.
Mr. Davis said he would answer all my questions if they could come into my home. I said I did not want to do that at this time; that I had to prepare myself with the data I had researched and I would meet with him alone at 8 PM that evening at CC Int. He said that Mr. Sutter had to be there as well and I agreed, giving him my word that I would be there. The three then left.
After they had gone I began to reflect on what had just occurred; that I had actually been ambushed by my friend of thirty years, and two very important members of the Church; that I’d been shown an SP Declare Order that had been printed up even before I had been given evidence of what I had done.
In the interim my ex-wife, Joy called (we have remained very close). I discussed what had just happened with her and in our two-way comm cycle I realized I was not ready to meet with Mr. Davis and Mr. Sutter, and breaking my word, canceled.
Later that afternoon I learned that my sister-in-law who is on OT VII in Florida was already informed about my visit to Texas and that I had canceled the meeting at CC Int. Needless to say it was quite a stressful Sunday.
Monday afternoon I received a call from another friend (my best friend) a Scientologist, whom I’ve known for twenty-five years. He asked if it were true that I had left the Church. I said yes and he asked if he could come to my home and discuss it with me. I said he could, if he came alone. He promised he would. Later that day he arrived and we began to talk. Not ten minutes later there was a knock on the door – it was Tommy Davis and two more friends. I asked them all to leave but they persuaded me to let them stay.
The ensuing conversation was about how much they cared about me; how wrong I was in attacking the Church because of my visit to the squirrel group and the subsequent posting of my wins; how I was throwing away the best thing in my life and would regret it for the rest of my life; and that the squirrel SP, and others I mentioned were evil in their intention to destroy the Church.
Again there was a knock on the door. Three other friends had arrived, and I was told there were two more on the way. Now very angry, I insisted that the conversation be ended , if the others did not leave. They did.
The conversation inside continued. I showed them letters written by Luis Garcia, the Schick’s,the Lugli’s and the Minelli’s from Italy, and Hy Levy. I said I had read books by the Headleys and Jeff Hawkins. I asked how could they ALL be SP’s? The response was that they were either lying or insane, and under the control of the SP I had visited in Texas.
I had had it and did not want these people in my home. So after threatening to call the police, I finally got them to leave. I again promised I would meet with Davis and one of the friends the next day.
After they left, a major mass lifted from my universe, I felt I could breathe again. Being slammed with their attitudes and fixed viewpoints was causing physical and mental suppression. Not once did any of them acknowledge that I had a viewpoint. One of them warned that being mid OT VII would now open me up to god knows what dangers; that I had reached for the reactive instead of the analytic points of view. It had been a continual bombardment of invalidation.
Since I stopped Solo’ing in 2004`, my life has flourished across the Dynamics; and my four days of auditing with the “SP” had handled areas of my life which had been bugged for years. I was feeling freer spiritually, emotionally and physically than I had felt in years. And now this.
I decided not to meet with Davis, and in a phone call told him (1) I was definitely not coming back to the Church (2) I would not post my letter (this one) or any other comments attacking the Church (3) that my wife, daughter and I had to be left alone. Davis told me he understood, but that we would have to “wrap up the cycle”.
I discussed this with my family and others and we realized what wrapping up the cycle would mean. It was obvious that because of our points of view and our decision, we were already considered enemies of the Church, by Church officials and by our friends. And since we were not going to return that consideration would remain.
We also believed that “wrapping up the cycle” would possibly mean signing some sort of statement and we were not willing to do that. So we decided to end any discourse between ourselves, Church officials and those people who would be arguing for us to return.
It was quite a Tuesday.
On Friday at my place of work, a television studio, I met a friend and co-worker, a Scientologist, who I have known for about 20 years. I assumed this friend, a woman, had already been made aware of my status in the Church. Seeing the look on my face, she asked what was wrong. I said I did not want to bring it up at work but she insisted.
Reluctantly I related that I had left the Church, and what had happened on Sunday and Tuesday. She seemed patient and interested and willing to listen, but the conversation was interrupted. Before we resumed a while later, I asked her to please stop me if and when she began to feel the slightest enturbulation. She said she could take it and would I go ahead.
I began speaking about the research which had brought me to my decision. When I drew the distinction between LRH and his technology, and the current management of the Church,which I have come to believe was corrupt, she instantly transformed into another person. I was now the “enemy” attacking her life and everything she believed in. The more I tried to explain why I had come to my conclusions, the more savage her attack became. She said I needed to stop and that I was “not there” and that every remark I was making was covertly hostile. Then she made a most bizarre statement — “You” (meaning me), she said, “now have an enemy at work”. It was said with such venom, I was stunned. She made another brief but equally bizarre series of comments about always being my friend and she left. The comment about work was handled immediately with the proper terminals.
So there you have six days of entheta and counting.
Regarding my refusal to have the conversation Mr. Davis wanted Sunday morning and later that day:
The Code of Honor, The Creation of Human Ability LRH
#8 “Do not give or receive communication unless you yourself desire it”
#14 “Be you own advisor, keep you own counsel and select you own decisions.”
Regarding my two year study of various points of view posted on the internet, published in books and discussed in various videos and tape recordings:
HCO PL 7 February 1965 LRH
KSW Series 1, Keeping Scientology Working
“Look, don’t listen”
Code of a Scientologist LRH
10 “To work for freedom of speech in the world”.
11 “To actively decry the suppression of knowledge, wisdom, philosophy or data which would help mankind”
The Phoenix Lectures, 1954 LRH
“(People) learn to keep their mouths shut, and it’s the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate…you’ll be successful all the way along the line if you just remember that.”
I am referring to the information being disseminated on the blogs.
Technical Bulletin, Confront LRH
“If one can confront he can be aware. If he is aware, he can perceive and act. If he can’t confront, he will not be aware of things and will be withdrawn and not perceiving. Thus he is unaware of the things around him.”
Technical Bulletin, Personal Integrity
“What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. And when you lose that, you have lost everything. What is personal integrity? Personal integrity is knowing what you know–And to have the courage to know and say what you have observed–and sufficient personal belief and confidence in self and courage that we can observe what we observe and say what we have observed.”
Universal Declaration of Human Rights
Article #19 “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers”
The Creed of the Church of Scientology LRH
“That all men have inalienable rights to think freely; to talk freely; to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others.”
“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”
“The price of freedom: Constant alertness. Constant willingness to fight back. There is no other price.”
What I have learned over the past two years is that many hundreds of people, good people, both public and staff, OT VII’s and VIII’s, Sea Org members, highly classed auditors, who have devoted decades to helping people, who have contributed financially and their expertise to the delivery and expansion of LRH’s Scientology have found grievous faults with the church’s management. They say it is no longer LRH’s church and I have come to believe them.
Regarding my being audited by a squirrel and SP:
Since I had concluded that the Church was being mismanaged and that portions of the tech had been altered; and I hadn’t been audited or solo’d in a number of years, I decided to go elsewhere for a session. I thought long and hard about this and after thoroughly researching his qualifications, decided to visit an auditor outside the Church, who I believed was qualified to handle me.
The auditing I received from him was spectacular. The sessions were like gentle conversations, easy and light, generally ending with lots of laughter from the PC. Long standing case phenomena in four areas were handled that were never handled during my road to Clear and during the years I spent auditing through the OT levels including a decade on Solo NOTS. The wins continue to be stable attested to by Joy and my daughter Sky who say they have never seen me so light and operating with such high ARC. It was a magical four days.
Code of a Scientologist LRH
“As a Scientologist, I pledge myself to the Code of Scientology for the good of all…
12. to support the freedom of religion.”
The Creed of the Church of Scientology LRH
“That all men have inalienable rights to conceive, choose, assist or support their own organizations, churches and governments.”
The Constitution of the United States, Amendment 1
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble; and to petition the government for redress of grievances.”
Regarding my auditor having no Org to provide PC folders, C/S’ing and end of session examination:
There is a site on which you can learn the qualifications of my auditor, and why he was assigned by Mr. Miscavige to audit Tom Cruise among other Scientology celebrities; and who was permitted to wear the hat of C/S, Examiner and Ethics Officer. I will send the site to you if you wish.
If I had the slightest sliver of doubt regarding my conclusions (which I do not) about what the current Church of Scientology has become, that doubt would have been dispelled Sunday — spying on me; officials show up at my door without warning, and albeit in a civil tone, threatening and intimidating me with a law suit and expulsion, warnings of consequences to my friends and family — if I did not come back to the “path from which I have strayed”. Officials who have, even before they arrived at my door, informed friends and family of my “transgressions”? , What kind of Church is that? Is this what LRH intended?
LRH wrote in HCOB PL 7 February 1965, Keeping Scientology Working Series I:
“So the ogre which might eat us up is not the government or the High Priests, It’s our possible failure to retain and practice our technology.”
And this excerpt by LRH from the Anatomy of the Spirit of Man Congress Lecture #15 What is Scientology Doing? 6 June 1955
“As I look into the future, I see that we are handling here material of a potential control and command over mankind which must not be permitted at any time to become the monopoly or the tool of the few to the danger and disaster of the many…”
“And I believe the freedom of the material which we know and understand is guaranteed only by lightness of organization, a maximum of people, good training and good, reliable, sound relay of information. And if we can’t do these things, sooner or later the information which we hold will become the property of an untrustworthy few. This I am sure because it has always happened this way…”
Regarding the conversations Tuesday and Friday:
All the above references.
Whenever David Miscavige was spoken of negatively, the response of every Scientologist who appeared in this drama, was virtually identical — an attack ranging in tone levels from antagonism to covert hostility, and the stopping of any further comments.
Davis and some of the friends use of the tech robotically to stifle any portion of any point of view I might have contrary to their beliefs. There was not one iota of acknowledgement by anyone of the remotest possibility that there could be corruption at the highest levels of management.
They asserted the absolute rightness of their position regarding possible corruption of management and asserted the absolute wrongness of myself or anyone who dares to believe that corruption exists. The people I encountered seem to have the unshakeable belief that L. Ron Hubbard, his technology, the Church of Scientology and David Miscavige are all one, so that LRH as Source equals David Miscavige as Source. Insanity is “the inability to associate and differentiate properly” (Scientology 8-8008); sanity is “the ability to recognize differences, similarities and identities” (HCO PL 26 April 70R)
I love and respect LRH as a friend and philosopher because the truth and wisdom of his ideas has bettered my life and the lives of countless others. My argument is not with him or his work. I will defend him and the technology with all my being. My argument is with what the Church has become and how it now operates. Like the vast majority of those who have left, I will always be a Scientologist and endeavor to better the conditions of those around me with the use of that technology. My purpose is not to undermine or nullify LRH or his true legacy.
My friendship with those of you who have spoken with me this past week, and others whom I have known and cared about over the years, is not based on the policies or dictates of the Church; and if my change of heart regarding my membership in it causes us to separate, so be it. That makes me very sad. Sad because it is dictated that you take what I have done as a personal attack and betrayal. I can only say, and I have looked at this very seriously and as truthfully as I am able, that were the situation reversed, I would remain true to you — because to me, that is the profound meaning of friendship.
I do not wish to be part of an organization which on the one hand, states its purpose to be the betterment of Mankind by improving the life of each individual, and on the other, has its members behave in such a vicious and destructive manner; an organization which cannot tolerate a concerted and fair look into the possibility of corruption after so many credible observers have publicly stated that it exits; an organization which has created an environment in which dissent and opposition results in vituperation and the ripping apart of family and friends; therefore I resign from the Church of Scientology and do not wish to be contacted by anyone representing the church, whether officially or otherwise in order to “salvage” me.